Tuesday, March 29, 2011 
Feels like I'm some kind of a freak. Every single time, no matter if I'm upset or angry or what ever negative feelings, I will always do something to release it. it seems that I still am not used to telling it out. Haiis... Just did something stupid. Haiis...
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Written off blah blah @ Tuesday, March 29, 2011. Saturday, March 26, 2011 Sometimes, what you see may not be true. And sometimes, what you hear may very well be the truth.
Most people feel, that seeing is believing. Than what if you cant believe what you see? Than what do you turn to?
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Written off blah blah @ Saturday, March 26, 2011. Friday, March 25, 2011 Seriously... I'm really pissed at what you are doing and what you are thinking. I know how you are thinking it that way. But im no longer a small girl le eh. I need my own space, to do what want. But you think I am am idiot? An idiot that is being controlled by you and follow your stupid fucking order just like that? You wait until you die first than say. Cb. I will not. I WILL NOT FOLLOW WHAT YOU SAY OR WHATEVER. I WILL DO THINGS MY OWN WAY!
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Written off blah blah @ Friday, March 25, 2011.Basket sia. Im not a small kid already. I don't need your protection like I used to need. I can survive even without you looking out for me all the time. Stop treating me like a little girl. Forever always like that. Than you say I never grow up. Fuck off luh. Who's the one who always treat me like one? Cb. Go die luh. I'm not your puppet can. Ive my own idea and my own thinking.you can have your own thinking and all, but I don't have to follow it. You don't deserve my respect and I am not complied to your thinking and following your bidding. Fuck off and go jump off a building if you are not happy. Not my problem. Don't make it my problem.
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Location:Tampines Street 33,,Singapore
Written off blah blah @ Friday, March 25, 2011. Friday, March 18, 2011 today was a day where i think i'll never forget.
today was another day where i think i can never forget.
it's about how i felt at that point in time when it happened.
i just felt so differently from before.
and that it gave me a sense of security.
i was pretty much surprised as well.
hahha(:
---------------------------------------
today;
1] had breakfast with mommy at coffee shop.(:
we ate fried noodles. (:
hahha(: DELICIOUS! *YUM*YUM*
2] went to school for DNT. (:
i was the only one there!
and it's like OMG!
damn super creepy when there's no one there except yourself.
hahha(:
so i sing to myself.
to entertain myself, and also to make myself relx. (:
-while I'm alone in dnt workshop,
I filled the workshop with my voice. (:
and when I'm with a friend at the workshop,
I filled the workshop with my laughter.-
(: so you see.
i'm totally capable of doing things myself!
&& when i'm at school doing dnt, i've good news to share!
(: (:
my dnt artefact is almost complete!
hahha(:
well, only the outer part. :PP
*sorry to burst your bubble!*
only need to glue the bottom part to the two pieces, and;
EEURIKA! my outer part is completed! (:
hahha(: (:
i can't wait!
3] went home to take things and put things.
-nothing much to say anything around here.-
hahha(:
4] went to my friend's house and play (:
hahha(:
i so happy!
like i'm waiting to park myself there!
because there're LOTS OF PLUSHIES!
and the bed very comfy!
hahha(:
so yeah, am comfortable and am enjoying myself.
hahha(:
i can lie down until i dozed off eh.
hahha(:
LOL!
i am like, can sleep everywhere and anytime!
-.-
how bad am i?!
i slept at people's house!
and on people's bed.
hahha(:
but nvm uh,
we're both very very very very close! ♥
so, it's ouhkay.
♥ lucky me (:
------------------------------------------
hmm.. well, guess i stop here. (:
i need to rest!
tomorrow have to rush out all my holiday homework! ):
god!
Written off blah blah @ Friday, March 18, 2011. Thursday, March 17, 2011 Hmm...
Well, what can I say?
Yesterday's outing was a perfect one!
Went out for movies and shopping with Samantha darling and Joseph darling!
hahha(:
Made me so happy.
Hahha(:
Haven't been so happy for so long.
Actually have, but it's just that when it comes to group outing, I have never been so happy while going out together in a group.
(: (:
Hmm....
We watched 'BIG MOMMA; like father, like son'
Hahha(:
It's a funny show(:
Yeah!! Happy(: so happy(:
Hmm...
After that, we went shopping together.
And also, I bought a necklace.
(:
A super nice necklace!
Hahha(:
And also, I pierced my ear AGAIN!
Hahha(:
iloveyou!
Haha(:!
I love my new ear hole!!
><
I'm so excited about it. !!
Can't wait for it to be seasoned!
Hahha(:
Hmm...
Ouhkay then.
I'll stop there then.
Written off blah blah @ Thursday, March 17, 2011. Tuesday, March 15, 2011 hmm...
my feelings and thoughts and actions are all mixed up.
it's all not tally to the same and individual thought or feeling or action.
i felt scared, yet i don't advoid it.
i felt vulnerable, yet i am not afraid of it.
i felt weak, yet i kinda yearn for it.
i felt gone, yet i welcomed it.
i know it shouldn't happen, but yet i allow it to happen.
hahha(: ♥
what is wrong with me ?
hmm...
even now, i keep thinking that whatever that happened was just a minute ago because the feelings that i have before is still lingering around me.
hmm...
i wonder if you will feel the same ?
or maybe because i didn't face it before, hence i felt it this way.
my mind is mixed! totally mixed up!
♥
♥
♥
♥
going out tomorrow! (:
movie date with SAMANTHA LEE DARLING and JOSEPH DARLING ♥
hahha(: i know we're all going to enjoy it!♥
Written off blah blah @ Tuesday, March 15, 2011.♥
today was a great day! (:
♥
went back school for dnt. (: ♥
but however, to my surprise!
no one was there!
LOL!
i am the only one there.
hmm...
guess i was being too early.
than i went up to the second level, to find mdm chin.
hahha(:
but she's not there.
than i was about to leave for the general office, shi chang (ah gong) called me. (:
hahha(: ♥
so we chatted for awhile.
we talked about school, about life, about dnt. ♥
hmm... and when he went to bath, i went for my dnt already.
went to the level 1 workshop.
hahha(:
went to find mr Lam (: (: ask him to open the workshop for me.
hahha(:
♥
♥
i straightened my acrylic.
hahha(:
also cut the shape already! :PP
♥
i'm so hardworking! (: (:
♥
when i'm done, i went to christina's house.
i teach her math..
hmm.. ended up i bring her math book home.
hahha(:
lol!
♥
after that, darling called!
i went over to find him (: ♥♥
hahha(: ♥♥♥♥ (:
hahha(: played with plushies! (:
and also, watched news over there.
i was like O.M.G ! japan suffered so much! )':
my favourite japan! )':
haiis )':
my heart is brokened )':
hahha(: LOL!
we played uh.
hahha(: the feeling is .... undescribable.
hahha(:
fun lo, -.-
idk what to say of it.
hahha(:
Z.Z
just that the feelings lingers still.
even now.
hahha(:
well, at least, i had fun today.
(: that's all that matters. (: ♥
Written off blah blah @ Tuesday, March 15, 2011. Monday, March 14, 2011 A lthough things are not perfect
B ecause of trial or pain
C ontinue in thanksgiving
D o not begin to blame
E ven when the times are hard
F ierce winds are bound to blow
G od is forever able
H old on to what you know
I magine life without His love
J oy would cease to be
K eep thanking Him for all the things
L ove imparts to thee
M ove out of "Camp Complaining"
N o weapon that is known
O n earth can yield the power
P raise can do alone
Q uit looking at the future
R edeem the time at hand
S tart every day with worship
T o "thank" is a command
U ntil we see Him coming
V ictorious in the sky
W e'll run the race with gratitude
X alting God most high
Y es, therell be good times &yes some will be bad, but...
Z ion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!
(: (:
Written off blah blah @ Monday, March 14, 2011. Sunday, March 13, 2011 finally, it's holiday.
but then again, there's not a day of holiday for me.
everyday is work and work and more work and more work.
there's not a moment for me to relax.
there isn't
this year is war and war and more war.
-.-
hahha!
i'm being so emotional.
LOL!
hahha(:
sunday, 9.13pm now on my computer. (:
hmm..
-.-
ran an errand for my mommy.
so, the time now is 9.19pm.
hahha(:
lol!
she cut mangos for my daddy.
than accidentally cut her own finger )':
sad.
haiis)':
---------------------------------------------------------
(: today was a fun day.
met my darling.(:
and also bought earrings! (:
nice nice earings! (:
3 pairs of earrings! (:
gosh! so happy! (:
actually wanted to buy more )':
but i stop myself.
because i know i cannot afford to spend so much money.
and also because someone will be be happy if i keep buying new accessories.
see, i so considerate!
hahha(: LOL! joker sia!
hahha(:
anyways, i met my darling for lunch.
actually, we didn't eat.
hahha(:
i jsut accompany him awhile.
he smoke and we just talk.
hahha(:
there's this SUPER CUTE girl.
SUPER KAWAII little girl.
i was like 'OH MY GOSH!! SO CUTE!'
and i couldn't stop myself but to stare at the little girl and smile away.
hahha(:
joseph also smile lo.
say me.
-.-
than he say i like that small girl.
walk also can bang onto the wall.
-.- he so mean!
don't wanna talk to him already.
hahha(:
after that we walk all the way up to the 3rd level.
(:
i stoned at the 4th level and waited for fabian to text me.
hahha(:
when at last! he texted me.
(:
hahha(:
i went down.
asked for dnt reference!
and guess what ?!
daniel and kero was there as well!
(:
hahha(:
than they all inside bully me sia!
one gang one lo! )':
-.-
daniel said something, than say 'right, fabian?'
than fabian will say 'yea'
-.-
so bad sia! )':
they so mean, gang up and bully people )':
haiis...
than they keep using terms that i don't understand.
):
not fair!
than ask them, they didn't want to answer me. ):
what kind of people are they sia!!!!!
)':
so sad!
than after when their break ended, we all went our separate ways.
hahha(:
lol!
sounded like what like that.
(:
anyway, i really am happy to see them.
really. (:
am really happy (:
-----------------------------------------------------------
ilovethelifethatihaveandiaminnow.
becauseitmakesmefeelthatit'ssoworthlivingittothefullest!
therewillwaysbesomeoneformetoshareallmyhappinessorsaddness.
everytimeandeverywhereandregardingeverything! (:
iloveyou! (:
-----------------------------------------------------------
i'm getting more and more tired with each coming second, with each comming minute, with each comming hour, with each comming day.
sometimes, i just felt like ditching everything aside.
and have a good's night sleep.
but i can't.
only yesterday and today, i can rest a little better than other days.
because it's not a holiday.
it's a crucial period and i know i need to make good use of it.
it will have a huge impact on my results!
i just knew it.
(:
i know no matter what, no matter when, you will always be there for me to lean on.
when i'm tired.
when i need to rest.
when i feel like crying.
when i am happy.
when i am sad.
when i am laughing.
when i am depressed.
when i am hurt.
when i am hurt...
no one will know.
they will never know.
because all they will ever see is, what they want to see.
and they will only hear what they want to hear.
it's always what that they always want.
it's never about other people.
so they wouldn't care about if the people around them are hurt.
they just carry out their thought and do what they want.
)':
alright then.
now is 9:45pm, sunday, march 13.
i'm going to end my post for today here.
bbuaiies.
good night.
sleep well.
imissyou.
Written off blah blah @ Sunday, March 13, 2011. Saturday, March 12, 2011 have never felt so out of place before.
i don't feel safe about it.
i don't like that feeling.
Written off blah blah @ Saturday, March 12, 2011.i am so mad.
i really am so mad.
):
i was unconscious again.
for the second time this year.
i got tonns of messages and missed calls when i woke up.
i don't know why.
-.-
i just felt so bad.
latter on, i ate instant noodles for lunch.
and inbetween, my mood was so interupted.
just because i was forgetful, just because i didn't tell him, just because i didn't reply him, just because it's my fault for everything.
i made him mad.
i made everybody's mood bad.
i think i'm better to be left alone.
my mood is seriously unstable.
i don't feel so good.
i vent my angry and my frustration out.
so i let it go.
my knuckles ........
hahha(:
lol.
Written off blah blah @ Saturday, March 12, 2011. Friday, March 11, 2011 why must things always be like this ?
in the first place, i wasn't feeling anything.
(was emotionless!)
than slowly, i was quite looking forward to it.
than i was excited about it.
was feeling so high!
than, it was heartwarming.
as i see someone (:
than after that...
was feeling damn super pissed!
why of all times?
why of all days ?
damn super hate it!
it's like i wasn't meant to smile truefully.
it's like i wasn't meant to smile from my heart.
because everytime i smile truefully, i smile from my heart.
something bad always happens that make me feel so ..
i just hate it.
alot.
have never felt so at fault before.
)':
i lost it.
i really lost it, and i directed it at someone i shouldn't have.
)':
i really felt so bad at releasing everything at him.
than went for a long long shower.
i cooled down a little.
but felt extremely cold!
):
*BRRR*
than i apologised to him.
he said it's ouhkay and etc. said that i can do it.
than i say he wasn't my punching bag though..
than say until the part where i said i wanna punch the wall.
hahha(:
funny sia..
he said he'd rather i punch him than punch the wall.
because if i punched the wall, i'll hurt my fingers and my hands.
hahha(:
but the thing is, i can't bear to hit him.
hahha(:
he's so cute! (:
hahha(:
than in the end, i kinda promised him that whenever i want to/feel like punching the wall, i'll tell him.
-.-
but even if i say already, i still couldn't punch the wall.
didn't want to care in the first place.
but later on, his message got across.
and i kinda made myself a secret promise to him that i'll never hurt myself again.
hahha(:
awww, he's like so sweet.
hahha(:
(:
today sports day was fun!
hahha(:
but sad! )':
my favourite teacher just got hurt! )':
he fell while running.
he was like close to winning )':
sad sad )':
he hurt his eye i believe.
)':
because he was wearing glasses )':
i hope he can recover before the march holidays ends.
i really want him to teach us.
)':
i will pray for him.
)':
so sad ):
-------------------------------------------------------------
i'm going to bed already.
so, nights guys! (:
bbuaiies(:
Written off blah blah @ Friday, March 11, 2011. Wednesday, March 9, 2011 hmm...
somtimes, people are just... some kind of freaking liars...
they sometimes will do things that only bring you harm and despair.
*sighh* )':
how can these people be like these?
i mean we are all together right?
we are all friends for how long we can think of...
):
but you broke my heart.
but what's more, you're not my friend.
but you're my family.
you're my d_ _ ...
):
how can you do this to me sia...
):
haiis..
saying that you agree, and let me have my own way.
but now?
you totally change your views.
and you totally went back on your answer...
):
you broke my heart.
i don't know how to trust people anymore.
because of you, it makes me feel that i am really alone.
i don't know if i can trust people. ):
i don't know if i can trust people without getting hurt at all.
you know how much damage you have brought to me just because you went back on your words ?
you know how much i wanted to tell him 'forget it. leave if you want to leave. because i don't know if i can trust people anymore'
do you know that?
):
we had a fight this morning because of what you said, and how i reacted to it.
you are not being fair to me.
):
and if you decide to do this, i'll just do what i like then.
afterall, you didn't tell me/you didn't discuss with me anything about it.
yet you want me to do what you say.
):
i cried in school today.
):
you should know the reason why.
you should know the reason why i cried.
why i shed a tear.
for once, just now in the morning, i almost thought you were really leaving me.
because i had trust issues.
);
i really thought that way.
but then, latter, you reassured me that you wouldn't.
no matter what, you wouldn't leave me.
that really comforts me alot.
i don't know will it last because i have issues as well...
but it all didn't matter.
because i have you by my side.
that is important to me.
really.
you don't know how much i thank you for stay, for willing to stay with me.
really.
you don't know how touched i am upon hearing what you said.
(:
you are the everything to me.
umbrella that shields me from anything and everything except your love and care. (:
hahha(:
iloveyou; imissyou; ithankyou! (:
be mine forever.
(:
Written off blah blah @ Wednesday, March 09, 2011.