Sunday, January 23, 2011 
super not happy today ):
not happy !
very very not happy ):
dnt is making me feel so useless and incapable of doing it.
and than i cannot even voice out my unhappiness ?
what logic is that ? i cannot even voice out my unhappiness is it ?
if you don't want to listen to it, than just get away.
it's my freedom to do whatever i want just as long as i didn't disturb untill anyone.
no one can say that i can't do anything because i didn't do anything wrong.
i'm just voicing out my thought and feelings only.
is that so wrong ?
lost something that should have been mine is already depressing enough already.
and than dnt comes along, and making me feel so incapable and useless.
than now i cannot even voice out my thought ?
what can i do to totally relax?
i want to drop dnt.
i don't want to take that subject.
but i can't
i don't want to.
but i just can't
):
it's my own thing.
maybe you're right.
maybe i should keep quiet.
maybe i should be in my own world all the time.
maybe i should not talk to anyone about anything.
maybe i should have been more sensitive enough to know what's wrong.
maybe i should have noticed that it wasn't the right thing to do.
maybe i should have known that by doing so would cause trouble to other people.
you're right.
you're all right and mighty.
you're all high and innocent while i am all low and freaking guilty of everything.
you're right.
YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT.
I SHOULD HAVE TO KEEP QUIET.
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I HAVE TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT BY KEEPING QUIET.
BECAUSE IT GIVES YOU PEACE.
BECAUSE IT GIVES YOU SPACE.
BECAUSE IT CAN MAKE ME SHUT THE FUCK UP.
BECAUSE IT CAN MAKE ME GO CRAZY IN MY OWN STUPID LITTLE WORLD AND YOU CAN HAVE EVERYTHING.
BECAUSE IT IS WHAT YOU WANT.
so i'll just lie low like some kind of dead bitch in a deserted land.
i felt like dying.
i felt like dying so much.
who's there to give me a helping hand ?
there'll be no one there to help me.
):
so, just leave me alone to die.
just ignore me like you can ignore some cute little kitty on the road.
Written off blah blah @ Sunday, January 23, 2011.