Tuesday, November 30, 2010 
heyys, morning to all (:
the post below was the one i wanted to post yesterday.
hahhs (:
i shall try to be the best i can.
will also try to control my emotions least someone gets worried.
):
but however,
no promises will be made because i'm really really upset about it.
the few people are the ones with really good acting skills.
that's a good thing ?
i've no idea.
being together makes me feel a little awkward.
and not wanting to be with them.
*sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh*
what to do ?
Written off blah blah @ Tuesday, November 30, 2010.Blog post: 29 November 2010, Monday.
Today, my day was rather… weird.
I was feeling many mixed feelings.
):
I was feeling that because I've exploded last night.
Just like what happened to me during p.e. lesson [azuan tan's class].
Stephanie, huixin, sandy, shuxian & many many more should know the reason why I cried at that time.
Because of that stupid teacher.
The asshole teacher.
FUCK OFF !
If he's the one teaching me next year than I think I'm going to drop design and technology.
I see no point in taking it anyway.
If pass that subject than fail other subject than I see no point.
It's really not worth the time that I'm spending on it.
):
Anyways, that's just what I was thinking.
Anyway... enough of that.
That was the past. ):
But still am so bothered by it.
28 n0vember, 2010, Sunday.
Something like hell happened.
It started off with a superb day.
I was so happy.
I had so much thoughts and things I wanna do.
I wanted so much to stay happy the entire day.
But that was something that I didn't do.
Work yesterday was average.
I changed shift with Stephanie.
And I became the wrapper girl.
/: was so …
At first I wrap one of the present like around 5-10 mins.
But than slowly, I wrap faster and faster.
I got used to it.
Yeah.
The BEST THING I LIKE is that I can get used to things happening quite fast.
So I think that it wasn't bad.
And also it was because I had the accompaniment of my friends.
That's also why I don't feel so …alone.
But than when something like this happen,
I have no idea why they can act like nothing happen?
It's like it don't even concern them.
It's so disturbing to me.
Why ?
That's something I don't know and I want to know.
After work, I was slacking with joseph and Fabian and Nisaa.
Actually, I asked Nisaa to stay behind and accompany me de.
I felt so bad.
Than it was like so awkward when Nisaa left.
Because I didn't know Fabian well and yeah..
Felt soooo awkward.
So they talk themselves.
And I was just there.
So I called shane.
I called him to chat.
I told him everything.
Than when I felt like crying already, I told Joseph and Fabian that something cropped up and I had to leave.
So when I left, I really cried.
Really I did.
In public.
With no one but strangers everywhere.
So on the way home.
I was talking to shane the entire way.
he said that he had expected it to happen.
But just that he didn't think that it would happen to me as I usually would be shy at places with no one I know.
I just saw my workplace like a familiar place.
So I think that's why.
):
I think I was too stupid to trust people easily.
I think I really should change.
I think being a robot would be better.
Because a robot has no emotions and won't get hurt in turn.
It is the loss and the benefit of a robot.
I want to be like one.
My heart broke countless times already.
Once whom I thought was a best friend betrayed me badly and hurting me so bad.
Now another thing happen again.
But this time wasn't whom is my best friend.
But just a normal friend.
I didn’t expected it to happen.
Thus no preparation was made.
):
I don't want to talk about it already.
Just make me feel like crying only.
):
But the part is that they all act so normally.
Too normal for me to be normal.
Imagine your friend has just betrayed you and act like she/he didn't do it.
But you already know that he/she did it.
What would you do? How would you feel?
I'm really hurt by this.
How can anyone be so... sensitive?
And that how can anyone be so …
Whatever happened in that place, I had already put it behind [temporary]
And when I was at home, something happened that set all my emotions loose.
I broke down and cried last night.
);
I've never cried until so bad before.
It was like something that happened in school.
But I didn't know joseph would know about it.
If I had known, I wouldn't even message.
I've learn, that when I'm sad and feel like crying,
Not to message anyone.
Because it'll make the person worried.
Sam Lee darling also.
Was upset last night.
But because of the incident, I can't be there for her.
I want to be strong.
I want to be strong.
I want to be strong.
I want to learn to be strong.
Robot is my idol now.
I think I have to learn to put on masks and use them.
Why is my life like this ?
It's like hell.
It's not the kind of like I want to have.
Not even close to it.
):
I was so super upset by the fact that something like that happen than I totally forgotten about my darlings.
How am I suppose to tell someone that the reason that I'm upset is linked to the person ?
I don't want to talk about it anymore.
I am tearing up the wounds that I've tried so hard to close and heal.
I'm so no in the mood anymore.
God, please give my blessings to Joseph darling and Samantha Lee darling.
As long as they're happy, I'm happy.
I will learn to be.
so i'll not hurt the heart of the ones who care truely about me.
Written off blah blah @ Tuesday, November 30, 2010. Friday, November 26, 2010 ♥
♥
i watched movie with joseph yesterday.
actually, meant to watch with sam darling and joseph together.
but sam darling says she have to go.
so left me and joseph.
so anyways, we watched 'megamind'.
it was fun !
ahhah (:
it was so fun lo (:
ahhah.
never had so much fun in long long time already.
funny o.
my brother said that he was my 'second dustbin'
why ?
ahhah.
distbin's place in me was not replace-able.
he was someone important to me.
but it was super super weird of my brother to say that.
hahhs (:
yesterday we went walking everywhere after the show.
i was cold while watching the movie..
and joseph darling' lend me his jacket.
but in the end, i wear his jacket home.
ahhah (:
lols.
i totally forgotten about his jacket.
he knew..
but didn't tell me.
): haiish...
wait.. got to read message first.
done.
was joseph darling'
lols ?
he disturb sia !
ahhah (:
i got joseph to give me a wake-up call.
i want to go jogging.
so ask him to call me wake up.
ahhahh (:
but in the end, i said he disturb me.
ahhah (:
i brushed against something while running.
my leg pain uh!
ahhah (:
♥
btw, samantha darling say next week go see movie again.
ahhah (:
because she throw me with joseph.
&&
♥
joseph darling' say next time we go sing K together.
can't wait (:
with my two darlings'.
go where also can.
(:
ahhahs (:
♥
♥
♥
♥
♥
hold on..
got one more thing to post.
For Samantha Lovefun who birth on month June below are What Your Birth Month Says About You :
* Thinks far with vision
* Easily influenced by kindness
* Polite and soft-spoken
* Having lots of ideas
* Sensitive
* Active mind
* Hesitating
* Tends to delay
* Choosy and always wants the best
* Temperamental
* Funny and humorous
* Loves to joke
* Good debating skills
* Talkative
* Daydreamer
* Friendly
* Knows how to make friends
* Abiding
* Able to show character
* Easily hurt
* Prone to getting colds
* Loves to dress up
* Easily bored
* Fussy
* Seldom show emotions
* Takes time to recover when hurt
* Brand conscious
* Executive
* Stubborn
* Those who loves me are enemies
* Those who hates me are friends
♥
♥
that's all ! (:
now's 10:10 am. (:
♥
♥
good morning all !
iloveyou!♥
Written off blah blah @ Friday, November 26, 2010. Tuesday, November 23, 2010 it's just between me and him.
it's between us.
but...
something has already started and i can't ignore it.
i just don't want to ruin and break our friendship just like that *snap*
):
i'm really troubled.
and thann now, that dump' dustbin not with me anymore.
):
i really need that dustbin lo.
if i had known, i would not have asked the dustbin to meet up to play basketball.
because of that, we have been so 'far' apart.
i've lost a friend to confide in.
not 'A', but it should be : no one to confide in anymore.
yeah.. that should be it.
now that i look back,
it seems like it's all my fault.
i shouldn't have done that.
but was i wrong ?
maybe it's true.
maybe because that day when i asked that dustbin to come,
it's all a mistake.
):
i shouldn't have done that.
shouldn't have.
never should have !
look what have i done !
just look at it.
it's all my fault. !
all of it !
damn tired of all these problems.
so damn freAking tired of it.
DUSTBIN !
you..
I HATE THESE FREAKING PEOPLE !
DAMN FREAKING HATE THEM !!
JUST GET OUT OF MY LIFE !
STOP MAKING ME SO TIRED.
I'VE MY OWN PROBLEMS TO TAKE CARE OF ALREADY !
JUST GET THE HELL OUTTA' MY LIFE AND NEVER COME BACK !
sorry, was just venting my anger.
sorry ):
ouhwell, i think i'm feeling a little better already.
just that i'm going back into the old me already.
that's what i thought.
the old me.
perhaps it's stronger.
stronger than the current me.
the me who thinks the world is a good place- weaker.
the me who thinks that people are kind. - weaker.
i think the me who keeps everything to myself is much much stronger.
at the very least i don't have to share everything.
i never let anyone see the side of my that's weak.
never.
见鬼去吧 !
i want to go back to my old self.
the stronger self.
but the more lonely self.
Written off blah blah @ Tuesday, November 23, 2010. Monday, November 22, 2010 ℒℴѵℯ♥
ℒℴѵℯ♥
ℒℴѵℯ♥
ℒℴѵℯ♥
ℒℴѵℯ♥
ℒℴѵℯ♥
ℒℴѵℯ♥ today (: had so much !
love alot people (:
especially today !
ℒℴѵℯ♥ today !
november 22 ♥
i think tomorrow i want to watch movie yeah..
but no one free ):
♥ than i think if no one join me,
than i watching on my own already ):
so sad uh.
today is a super super super nice day (:
ahhah ((:
i love it !
what happen today will be posted in my other blog !
which is private
!
sorry ):
ahhah (:
so just use your brains to think/guess. ((:
ℒℴѵℯ♥you
Written off blah blah @ Monday, November 22, 2010. Friday, November 19, 2010 yo (:
ahhah (:
finally came to blog o.
lols.
hahhs ((:
today, i'm super duper bored !
so i washed away all my nail polish.
& applied black color polish to them (:
hahhs (:
super nice !
so happy !
&& also, i've watched 'IP MAN' today.
i watched all IP MAN movie today (:
can't stop crying !
):
);
tearing )):
so sad..
ahhah (: ouhkay luh.
i think i going watch IP MAN 2 now.
than tomorrow i'm going to sleep (:
'cause i tomorrow working full shift ):
10am to 10pm ):
so sad so sad ):
Written off blah blah @ Friday, November 19, 2010. Tuesday, November 16, 2010 So 辛苦. 不舒服，但是还是要去上班。｟： Kay lo. GOt to go bath. So yeah. At night when I end work already than blog a long long long long post. Hahhs(: ☆〜（ゝ。∂） Loveya
Written off blah blah @ Tuesday, November 16, 2010. Thursday, November 11, 2010 heys !
here to blog again (:
hahhs (:
today sad uh..
i accidentally cut my index finger.
):
pain pain ):
heart-break already.
hahhs (:
so sad uh...
like that bully me ):
hahhs.
ouhkay luh.
recently got nothing to blog about anyway.
hahhs (:
so yeah...
i go sleep le uh.
tomorrow i morning shift eh.
nights guys.
Written off blah blah @ Thursday, November 11, 2010. Wednesday, November 10, 2010 Today is a boring day. I think I'm used to working life already. I have slept the entire day hahhs. ((: lols. I'm going to do house chores now. So, yeah. Post again later.
Written off blah blah @ Wednesday, November 10, 2010. Tuesday, November 9, 2010 fun fun day (:
hahhs (:
had so much fun !
but is also super super tired !
):
hahhs (:
play and joke around almost the entire afternoon ((:
but i also kena bang my head and my leg ))))))))))))))))))))):
sad uh.
don't know bang into what also.
my head kena bang onto those metal pieces uh. now a bit swollen )):
sian.
hahhs (:
but ouhkay uhh.. now so late already.
now is 12:22 am (:
so....
GOOD MORNING !! EVERYONE (:
i'm going to bed (:
hehhe (:
loveya (:
XOXO
Written off blah blah @ Tuesday, November 09, 2010. Saturday, November 6, 2010 ♥♥ i love today !!
yes !
i went to watch movie today !
so happy !!! ♥♥
i watched 'paranormal activity 2'
♥♥ was so nice !
scared untill sia.
jumped ):
and shocked !
)):
but still sooooooooooooo nice !!
((:
i had lunch with SAMANTHA LEE (:
a friend that i just knew (:
working together with me at TOYS'R'US (:
♥ same name (: just different surname (:
hahhs ((:
♥♥♥♥
actually wanted to wait till her dinner break derhhs.
but can't
need to be home before 7 ):
♥ but no need to worry (:
we say already find one day we go watch movie together (:
and i say we go eat lunch/dinner together (:
♥♥ she's a really really great friend.
really helpful as well. (:
i think we can be really really really really close friends.
well, besides that someone, i find her also very approachable. (:
kinda give me a close feeling.
like i know her or something.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
i want to be able to be close to everyone that's working at TOYS'R'US (:
good night guys !
gtg.
sweet dreams !! ((:
♥♥ya
Written off blah blah @ Saturday, November 06, 2010.