Saturday, November 12, 2011 
i'm back to post.
well, for awhile only, or rather whenever i have the time.
i will try to update my blog post as and when i can.
so don't blame me if i didn't update.
i know i didn't update for quite some time already because i was busy with my school work,
BECAUSE my O' levels are coming.
i need to focus and study really really hard for it.
i only have the ONE CHANCE to get into a poly and the course i want.
if, if i can't get into a poly and the course of my choice...
i think i will end my life there and then already.
because it'll be hell for me if i can't get into a poly.
i will end my life.
i will not allow others to look down on me.
i control my own fate.
i will, do as i've said now.
because if i can't get into poly, no one will pity me.
no one will be responsible for me,
no one will be there for me.
i'm alone again.
all that talks about forever with you, are great memories.
should i end my life,
it wouldn't be your fault.
so please carry on living happily.
i'll pray for you.
being along isn't all that bad.
because afterall i'm used to it.
people come and go in my life.
i'm so used to it already.
being hurt all the time is like nothing to me anymore.
i'm not afraid, of anything.
i'm not afraid of death.
because my life, is pointless and i'm in the endless tunnel.
no matter how much i wanted to leave the tunnel, i don't know how to.
and the only light that gave me hope and gave me directions to go, has disappeared.
so it doesn't matter.
i've tried commiting suicide twice.
well, in fact, many times.
i just can't take it anymore.
i cut my wrist, deep enough for me to feel the numb-ness of my hand.
but in the end i stopped and tried to stop the blood from flowing because there's you.
i ate many pills too...
had the intention to commit suicide to end my life.
but stopped at the last minute because of you.
but now, i've got nothing to worry about.
nothing to stop me.
nothing to make me want to continue living my life anymore.
i'm just alone...
even my family don't bother.
my life isn't fair.
so just forget it.
i'll take things really easy from now on.
i'm done with.
i'm finished.
Written off blah blah @ Saturday, November 12, 2011. Wednesday, May 25, 2011 *YAWNS*
I'm so freaking tired!
omg.
ended school at 4.30pm [school's mother tongue intensive programme.]
hmm...
after that went for dnt.
(: hahha!
good news!
my dnt is almost complete ah.
another 40% more to go. (:
happy right?!
(:
hahha(:
hardwork pays off. (:
ouhkay. gtg...
bbuaiies.
cyaz later. (:
Written off blah blah @ Wednesday, May 25, 2011. Tuesday, May 24, 2011 i have talked to a dear friend today.
whom i've never talked about, so close today.
i didn't felt close to her for so long.
we talked about friends.
and that important they are.
but also, at the same time,
how fragile they could be.
and with that, i finally understand why.
(: i missed you.
though we are just friends like by the surface.
you're important.
Written off blah blah @ Tuesday, May 24, 2011. Sunday, May 22, 2011 finally...
changed my blogskin already.
and also,
i have created another blog. (:
but too bad.
it's private.
which means, you can't visit it.
although it's so damn nicely done.
hmm...
alright...
all three blogs have been updated with a new blogskin + new features.
[e.g] chatbox/ or media player/ or etc etc
yupyup.
ouhkay... i'm going to post on my other blogs now.
:D bbuaiies...
cyaz
Written off blah blah @ Sunday, May 22, 2011. Sunday, May 15, 2011 (: it's been a while since I wrote in you(: hahaha(: I miss you so much! My diary! (: hahaha(: nothing much did happen. ): but then.., I'm so worried about my results! ): I'm guessing that it will fail. All of it!! ):
samantha♥ from my iPhone.
Written off blah blah @ Sunday, May 15, 2011. Thursday, May 12, 2011 ♥ i love all that had happened recently.
:D it had made me so happy :D
(: i'm really really glad that i didn't give up that chance that came...
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
i'm so in love ♥
with that someone i really didn't thought i could have.
:D and that guy...
despite having so many flaws...,
i still am SO crazy in love with him. ♥
he always was the one, who gave me so much support.
in the ways that people would usually NOT give.
it's misleading...
well..., but he's using it...
though we may fight, and we may quarrel...
but we always make up right away once we've all cooled down.
♥
i love you, Joseph. ♥
(:
alrighty! hahha(: i gtg.
study :) and prepare.
so,.... see ya guys later (:
Written off blah blah @ Thursday, May 12, 2011. Sunday, April 17, 2011 Went to AMK hub to find darling (:
Walked around. Saw several things that I wanna buy. But, I've got no money! ): sad sad. ): nvm! I'll save money. I have to save money anyway. Otherwise if got go out with Joseph or what, everything also he pay? Cannot be what. Hahha(: + I wanna buy lots of stuffs !
samantha♥you
Written off blah blah @ Sunday, April 17, 2011.